Tonight as Amelia fought with me about going to bed...
"I don't need sleep. I need to play and that's the truth."
Well.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Growing Pains...
The girl is growing...FAST. No really, she's having a growth spurt. How do I know? Pants that were way too long a month ago are fitting perfectly. Her legs are finally catching up to her long torso. She's eating everything in sight. She's moody. Now the latter could be caused by several different things, she is 2 now, but I'm going with growth spurt. Her sleep patterns are changing, again. And tonight at bed-time, she complained of pain behind her knee. She was confused by it and wasn't sure if it itched or if it hurt. Poor girl fell asleep holding her knee up to her chest. Again, all signs point to growth spurt and growing pains.
Amelia had her 2 year well check with a new pediatrician here in Lansing. Visits to the doctor have always been...how do I say...painfully painful. However, another sign that she is growing (although she did cry through the entire visit) is the fact that she actually did what the doctor asked; opening her mouth while tears streamed down her face, letting her listen to her chest and back...all the while crying and interjecting an occasional "don't check me! I don't want a check-up. I don't want to, I don't want to...." Heartbreaking. I even told her before the visit that there would be no pokes and that nothing would hurt this time...just a check up. Well, surprise. Though I didn't mean to, I lied...hemoglobin check means prick to the toe. Wow, she was NOT happy. And I felt terrible too.
Gratefully, she understands more therefore she can prepare for what's to come when it comes to the doctor, she can ask questions, reassure herself by playing doctor on her stuffed animals, and she even asked the doctor personal questions about her family...responses regarding her 2 year old son seemed to please Amelia and made the doc seem a little less scary. She acted like a big girl despite all those tears. And I was very proud of her. Lots of praise and hugs as well as a trip to the diner across the street for a post doc visit vanilla shake seemed to erase the pain. At least most of it.
She's healthy. All that growing turned out the following results: At 27 months she weighs 30 lbs putting her in the 78th percentile for weight. She is 37 1/4 inches tall...96th percentile. And her head is, as always, off the charts...this time at 99 cm.
She's growing and sometimes painfully fast. Whether it's my heart aching for things to slow down just a bit, or Amelia's little legs aching from sprouting up so fast so she can one day tower over her mother, it's the growing that is the journey and it's those painful moments that makes all the others so sweet.
Amelia had her 2 year well check with a new pediatrician here in Lansing. Visits to the doctor have always been...how do I say...painfully painful. However, another sign that she is growing (although she did cry through the entire visit) is the fact that she actually did what the doctor asked; opening her mouth while tears streamed down her face, letting her listen to her chest and back...all the while crying and interjecting an occasional "don't check me! I don't want a check-up. I don't want to, I don't want to...." Heartbreaking. I even told her before the visit that there would be no pokes and that nothing would hurt this time...just a check up. Well, surprise. Though I didn't mean to, I lied...hemoglobin check means prick to the toe. Wow, she was NOT happy. And I felt terrible too.
Gratefully, she understands more therefore she can prepare for what's to come when it comes to the doctor, she can ask questions, reassure herself by playing doctor on her stuffed animals, and she even asked the doctor personal questions about her family...responses regarding her 2 year old son seemed to please Amelia and made the doc seem a little less scary. She acted like a big girl despite all those tears. And I was very proud of her. Lots of praise and hugs as well as a trip to the diner across the street for a post doc visit vanilla shake seemed to erase the pain. At least most of it.
She's healthy. All that growing turned out the following results: At 27 months she weighs 30 lbs putting her in the 78th percentile for weight. She is 37 1/4 inches tall...96th percentile. And her head is, as always, off the charts...this time at 99 cm.
She's growing and sometimes painfully fast. Whether it's my heart aching for things to slow down just a bit, or Amelia's little legs aching from sprouting up so fast so she can one day tower over her mother, it's the growing that is the journey and it's those painful moments that makes all the others so sweet.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Songwriter
Amelia's First Song...
I like roses
I like snow
I like snowflakes
when they on my nose.
Her Dad is so proud.
I like roses
I like snow
I like snowflakes
when they on my nose.
Her Dad is so proud.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Story of the Suckie
It has been one month and 13 days since Amelia has used her suckie.
It all began 2 years and 2 months ago when my peanut was born and was swept away to the NICU even barely before the fog of c-section meds wore off. All the plans to snuggle, take pictures and videos, pass her around to family and friends, open new baby gifts...were replaced by this new and scary and almost incomprehensible situation. Suddenly the plans had changed. Suddenly the control was handed over to these (wonderful) strangers to make most of the decisions regarding her care. Suddenly, I was unable to hold my newborn...Amelia could not be removed from her "giraffe" and therefore could not be held but once a day. Can you imagine? We couldn't snuggle her and she couldn't snuggle us. We did our best to soothe her with our voices and the touch of our hands...but a baby needs more. And what about when we couldn't be by her side in the wee hours of the night?
Enter the suckie. Enter the caring, reassuring and pleasant nurse with the loud southern accent who ran to find her one when Ameila was wailing and the nursery seemed to be out. Boom. There it was. Decision made.
You see, pre-Amelia's birth, I had planned on forgoing the use of a pacifier all together. I thought after our baby was born I would do my best to be sure she didn't rely on a pacifier for comfort. Well, that didn't happen. And rely on it she did...for 2 years.
When we finally brought her home from the hospital, Amelia relying on her suckie was at that point insignificant, (as were a lot of other things I had planned) compared to the miracle of just being able to bring her home. I was just grateful that there was something that worked to comfort her during those weeks. The green suckie became a very important part of our lives. VERY important. Like most kids addicted to a pacifier, Amelia grew more and more fond of hers as the years passed.
Along with the sucking came the always cute twirling of the hair at the early age of about 5 months. It started with Amelia touching and playing with my long hair while I nursed and rocked her to sleep, which I always found totally endearing. Later, closer to 10 months to a year, Amelia started twirling her own hair to fall asleep while either nursing or sucking on that green suckie. Don't forget the "mommy shirt," which Ford introduced at 4 months of age in an attempt to calm Amelia's hysteria while I was out Christmas shopping. So the magic three...the sucking, the hair twirling, and the sniffing of the mommy shirt became Amelia's vices, her necessities of comfort, the magic that put her in that trance before she drifted off to sleep each and every time...
Amelia loved her suckie. Wanted it all the time. Enjoyed it when other babies and toddlers had one too. She understood the happiness it brought to them. Amelia only enjoyed the "Soothie" type pacifier, the green one handed out at the hospital. I tried other brands, offering different sizes, shapes, firmness...nope, she had her fav and she was sticking to it. During Amelia's first trip to see Santa at the mall, I remember seeing a little boy of about 2 years sitting on Santa's lap with his green Soothie in his mouth and thinking to myself, there's no way Amelia will still be using that green infant suckie at that age, no way...
Our pediatrician in Nashville told me the pacifier had to go by the time she turned 2. Said it would affect the development of her mouth if she kept it any longer. I had horrible visions of buck teeth, of mouth pieces to correct a suckie induced overbite, braces with rubber bands and head gear...
But the older she got, the more attached she became. I tried to limit her usage to nap-time, bedtime and car rides. But she would find them, stick them in at will. And admittedly, we gave in often, knowing the immediate and soothing affect it had on her. Amazingly, it really does do what it says...not only does it soothe a crying infant but it actually pacifies a whining toddler, immediately and effectively. There were some days where I too loved that green suckie.
Flash forward to Labor Day 2009. Amelia and I take a trip to Cross Village, MI to spend the weekend with family (minus Ford...home studying) at Uncle Mike's cozy cottage on Lake Michigan. All is well, Amelia sucks the suckie all the way on the 5 hour ride north. But something unexpected happens that night...at bedtime, jammies on and mommy shirt in hand, exhausted from our day at the beach, she is distraught. Something is wrong with her suckie..."something hurts" she repeats. She often says this not because something actually hurts but because something doesn't feel quite right. I noticed one of the 2 suckies has a small tear. I offer her the other one. She is equally distraught. I do some inspecting, though she won't let me look in her mouth, and notice there is a dog hair on this suckie. Maybe that's it. I wash it. Still a no go. Amelia refuses, but is very upset about it. After hours of suckie drama and crying, she finally falls asleep. Without. The. Suckie.
With support from the family vacationing with us, I use this never before available window of opportunity to detox Amelia of her vice.
The next day, to my shock and amazement, she does not ask for it until nap-time. I offer her the sole suckie. She tries it. Again, something is not quite right. Exhausted from playing again on the beach all day, she falls asleep quickly and painlessly. I am thrilled, and the same that night...a little complaining but fairly smooth sailing. Are we home free? Could it be that easy??? NOOOO...really?? No binky fairy? No purposefully altering the suckie to make it undesirable, no forcing the issue and going cold turkey? I virtually had to do nothing. I was feeling VERY grateful for this free pass. But it didn't last. When we returned home, things took a turn for the worse. Back in her own bed, Amelia asked for it. Wanted it. Needed it. Uh oh. I got a little nervous. After reading a little about it and talking it over with Ford I had decided that if this very thing happened, I would encourage Amelia to pass on and hand down her suckies to the many new babies that had been born that month, including her new baby cousin Will. She was thrilled with this idea. Whew. She climbed down off my lap, helped me pick out wrapping paper and a bow, wrapped up one suckie and put it in a very special spot on her bedroom floor so we could take it to the post office after nap. She was happy with this. But sadly, she could not fall asleep. The affects of suckie-withdrawal had set in. She could not relax, she could not sit still, she could not find the comfort she needed to get sleepy, not from me, not from rocking, not from anywhere. She was upset. I felt terrible. No nap. We mailed the suckie to Baby Will. We all praised her and told her how proud we were of her. What a big girl she was now. She seemed generally okay with this.
However, the withdrawal scenarios lasted the next 2 weeks and although there were several times I wanted to cave and let her have it just to fall asleep, so she could rest, I didn't. And it was hard. I tried to remind myself that this too is just a phase. That one day we will know what it is like to not have the green suckie in her mouth or on her mind.
That day is here. It can be done. Amen.
It is bittersweet to me. I admit, I am thankful I don't have to worry about carrying those things around with me, worrying about dropping it on say...a public bathroom floor (nasty), I don't have to battle with her about taking it out, and I no longer have to think about how I'm going to go about getting rid of it. But sadly, along with the giving up of the green suckie, came the disinterest in hair-twirling, and lastly she could care less, most days, where her mommy shirt is.
Shoot. Apparently, one goes they all go. Amelia does not want to talk about the suckie. She has started to in the past and quickly stops herself and moves on to something else. It almost seems too hard for her to talk about it or even to think about.
It may seem small, but it is in fact a big, no huge, step toward being a kid. A big kid.
She did it.
No more suckie.
Next...diapers.
It all began 2 years and 2 months ago when my peanut was born and was swept away to the NICU even barely before the fog of c-section meds wore off. All the plans to snuggle, take pictures and videos, pass her around to family and friends, open new baby gifts...were replaced by this new and scary and almost incomprehensible situation. Suddenly the plans had changed. Suddenly the control was handed over to these (wonderful) strangers to make most of the decisions regarding her care. Suddenly, I was unable to hold my newborn...Amelia could not be removed from her "giraffe" and therefore could not be held but once a day. Can you imagine? We couldn't snuggle her and she couldn't snuggle us. We did our best to soothe her with our voices and the touch of our hands...but a baby needs more. And what about when we couldn't be by her side in the wee hours of the night?
Enter the suckie. Enter the caring, reassuring and pleasant nurse with the loud southern accent who ran to find her one when Ameila was wailing and the nursery seemed to be out. Boom. There it was. Decision made.
You see, pre-Amelia's birth, I had planned on forgoing the use of a pacifier all together. I thought after our baby was born I would do my best to be sure she didn't rely on a pacifier for comfort. Well, that didn't happen. And rely on it she did...for 2 years.
When we finally brought her home from the hospital, Amelia relying on her suckie was at that point insignificant, (as were a lot of other things I had planned) compared to the miracle of just being able to bring her home. I was just grateful that there was something that worked to comfort her during those weeks. The green suckie became a very important part of our lives. VERY important. Like most kids addicted to a pacifier, Amelia grew more and more fond of hers as the years passed.
Along with the sucking came the always cute twirling of the hair at the early age of about 5 months. It started with Amelia touching and playing with my long hair while I nursed and rocked her to sleep, which I always found totally endearing. Later, closer to 10 months to a year, Amelia started twirling her own hair to fall asleep while either nursing or sucking on that green suckie. Don't forget the "mommy shirt," which Ford introduced at 4 months of age in an attempt to calm Amelia's hysteria while I was out Christmas shopping. So the magic three...the sucking, the hair twirling, and the sniffing of the mommy shirt became Amelia's vices, her necessities of comfort, the magic that put her in that trance before she drifted off to sleep each and every time...
Amelia loved her suckie. Wanted it all the time. Enjoyed it when other babies and toddlers had one too. She understood the happiness it brought to them. Amelia only enjoyed the "Soothie" type pacifier, the green one handed out at the hospital. I tried other brands, offering different sizes, shapes, firmness...nope, she had her fav and she was sticking to it. During Amelia's first trip to see Santa at the mall, I remember seeing a little boy of about 2 years sitting on Santa's lap with his green Soothie in his mouth and thinking to myself, there's no way Amelia will still be using that green infant suckie at that age, no way...
Our pediatrician in Nashville told me the pacifier had to go by the time she turned 2. Said it would affect the development of her mouth if she kept it any longer. I had horrible visions of buck teeth, of mouth pieces to correct a suckie induced overbite, braces with rubber bands and head gear...
But the older she got, the more attached she became. I tried to limit her usage to nap-time, bedtime and car rides. But she would find them, stick them in at will. And admittedly, we gave in often, knowing the immediate and soothing affect it had on her. Amazingly, it really does do what it says...not only does it soothe a crying infant but it actually pacifies a whining toddler, immediately and effectively. There were some days where I too loved that green suckie.
Flash forward to Labor Day 2009. Amelia and I take a trip to Cross Village, MI to spend the weekend with family (minus Ford...home studying) at Uncle Mike's cozy cottage on Lake Michigan. All is well, Amelia sucks the suckie all the way on the 5 hour ride north. But something unexpected happens that night...at bedtime, jammies on and mommy shirt in hand, exhausted from our day at the beach, she is distraught. Something is wrong with her suckie..."something hurts" she repeats. She often says this not because something actually hurts but because something doesn't feel quite right. I noticed one of the 2 suckies has a small tear. I offer her the other one. She is equally distraught. I do some inspecting, though she won't let me look in her mouth, and notice there is a dog hair on this suckie. Maybe that's it. I wash it. Still a no go. Amelia refuses, but is very upset about it. After hours of suckie drama and crying, she finally falls asleep. Without. The. Suckie.
With support from the family vacationing with us, I use this never before available window of opportunity to detox Amelia of her vice.
The next day, to my shock and amazement, she does not ask for it until nap-time. I offer her the sole suckie. She tries it. Again, something is not quite right. Exhausted from playing again on the beach all day, she falls asleep quickly and painlessly. I am thrilled, and the same that night...a little complaining but fairly smooth sailing. Are we home free? Could it be that easy??? NOOOO...really?? No binky fairy? No purposefully altering the suckie to make it undesirable, no forcing the issue and going cold turkey? I virtually had to do nothing. I was feeling VERY grateful for this free pass. But it didn't last. When we returned home, things took a turn for the worse. Back in her own bed, Amelia asked for it. Wanted it. Needed it. Uh oh. I got a little nervous. After reading a little about it and talking it over with Ford I had decided that if this very thing happened, I would encourage Amelia to pass on and hand down her suckies to the many new babies that had been born that month, including her new baby cousin Will. She was thrilled with this idea. Whew. She climbed down off my lap, helped me pick out wrapping paper and a bow, wrapped up one suckie and put it in a very special spot on her bedroom floor so we could take it to the post office after nap. She was happy with this. But sadly, she could not fall asleep. The affects of suckie-withdrawal had set in. She could not relax, she could not sit still, she could not find the comfort she needed to get sleepy, not from me, not from rocking, not from anywhere. She was upset. I felt terrible. No nap. We mailed the suckie to Baby Will. We all praised her and told her how proud we were of her. What a big girl she was now. She seemed generally okay with this.
However, the withdrawal scenarios lasted the next 2 weeks and although there were several times I wanted to cave and let her have it just to fall asleep, so she could rest, I didn't. And it was hard. I tried to remind myself that this too is just a phase. That one day we will know what it is like to not have the green suckie in her mouth or on her mind.
That day is here. It can be done. Amen.
It is bittersweet to me. I admit, I am thankful I don't have to worry about carrying those things around with me, worrying about dropping it on say...a public bathroom floor (nasty), I don't have to battle with her about taking it out, and I no longer have to think about how I'm going to go about getting rid of it. But sadly, along with the giving up of the green suckie, came the disinterest in hair-twirling, and lastly she could care less, most days, where her mommy shirt is.
Shoot. Apparently, one goes they all go. Amelia does not want to talk about the suckie. She has started to in the past and quickly stops herself and moves on to something else. It almost seems too hard for her to talk about it or even to think about.
It may seem small, but it is in fact a big, no huge, step toward being a kid. A big kid.
She did it.
No more suckie.
Next...diapers.
Friday, October 2, 2009
More of the best...
The cuteness just keeps coming. Yesterday, during our pre-nap ritual, we snuggled on the bed and read books together. This time we read books we had checked out from the library. I read to her "My Favorite Things" which is just the lyrics to the familiar song from the Sound of Music put to wonderful illustrations. She asked me to read it (well, I actually sang it) a total of 3 times and after the 3rd time she commented on the last line of the song: "And then I don't feel so bad." She doesn't like it when anyone feels bad, she gets very concerned. I explained to her that sometimes when we are sad, if we just think of our favorite things, we feel better. She liked this explanation and lay there next to me looking content. I asked her what some of her favorite things were...
A: "um...flowers."
Me: "oh that's a good one!"
A: "and Mommy"
(my heart grows and I respond with "awwww" and then she says quickly....)
A: "yur my friend..."yur my BEST friend."
Amazing.
A: "um...flowers."
Me: "oh that's a good one!"
A: "and Mommy"
(my heart grows and I respond with "awwww" and then she says quickly....)
A: "yur my friend..."yur my BEST friend."
Amazing.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Best
While watching Amelia eat her applesauce snack at the table in her blue polka-dotted dress...
Me: Amelia....Amelia....
(she looks up)
Me: I love you!
(she smiles)
Amelia: yea...to the WORWLD!
Me: Amelia....Amelia....
(she looks up)
Me: I love you!
(she smiles)
Amelia: yea...to the WORWLD!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Just some thoughts on toddler hood...
The blog is changing. I just looked back at some earlier posts and realized I have become less insightful about parenthood and have focused more on reporting things that are new, funny and cute and, well, factual.
Does this mean I've become a seasoned parent? And that I am no longer as enthralled with the newness of parenthood and all its wonder? Absolutely not. Just the opposite in fact. But I do think I have become a bit more confused...
I have been thinking a lot about this phase in our lives, the toddler phase. I have been thinking about how quickly the baby phase went by and how from now on I will be spending the rest of my parenting career actually communicating, I mean really engaging in conversation, with this little person. She can talk back now. And talk back she does. With every day I wonder if I am responding the right way, teaching the right way, phrasing my comments correctly. If I'm being too lenient, too firm. If I am picking too many battles or letting too many things slide. Everyday is like a test that I didn't study for. I feel like I should have some notes to refer back to when a new situation arises. A study guide, a cheat sheet if you will. I mean sure, instinct seems to carry me pretty far, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I already had 3 or 4 toddler behavior books read and under my belt, and committed to memory. Don't get me wrong, Amelia is really truly a great kid. She's not even that challenging of a toddler. We deal with some whining and the occasional defiant "NO!" or "don't" or even when I lead her gently or pick her up and away from something of interest she pulls out the "don't pull me, Mom!" Oy.
Will she be fighting me from here on out? Calling me out when she feels wronged. Standing up for herself and putting into practice her words of power...like "NO," and "DON'T" and maybe eventually "I don't care what you think" or even an "I hate you?" Really? Does toddler hood really give us a glimpse into the teenage years? So I've read. (Okay, so I've started to read a toddler behavior book).
Okay, that was a bit of a tangent and maybe a bit dramatic...I mean I'm talking about a two year old, but stay with me here...
They push and test and try to pull away from us as they become more and more independent and more drawn to the world outside these safe and familiar parental walls. Yet we press on in faith (and I do pray a lot) that we are raising decent, respectful, confident and loving human beings as we continue to guide and teach and respond in the right way, at least we hope. All the while we achingly long to keep them close...and we secretly live for the moments when they succumb to needing us, wanting us and openly loving us more than anything. "Hold me, mom." "I snuggle you." "I want you."
I heard on NPR tonight while driving in the car, an author talk about the theory that she keeps in mind while writing her books. That God is depicted in the Bible as being like a parent who guides and teaches and remains very involved in the beginning but by the end of the story He has stepped back, has become more silent and ultimately lets his children live out their lives, with the hope that what He has taught them will resonate in their minds and hearts and continue to guide them, even when He is no longer talking.
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